Every year, on the first Sunday of May — just one week before Mother’s Day — the world pauses to recognize a group of mothers who are so often overlooked: those who have lost a child.
International Bereaved Mother’s Day is not a celebration in the traditional sense. It is a day of acknowledgment. A day that says, quietly but firmly: you are still a mother, and your grief is real.
Where did it come from?
The day was founded by Carly Marie Dudley, an Australian artist and child loss advocate, who herself lost her son Christian in 2009. Carly noticed that mainstream Mother’s Day — with its flowers, brunches, and cheerful cards — could be an incredibly painful experience for mothers grieving a child.
She wanted a dedicated space, just one day before the rush of Mother’s Day began, where bereaved mothers could be seen. Not pitied. Not rushed through their grief. Just seen.
Since then, the day has grown into a global observance, recognized by grief communities, hospitals, nonprofits, and families around the world.
Who is this day for?
This question matters because the answer is broader than most people assume.
International Bereaved Mother’s Day is for every mother who has experienced child loss — regardless of when it happened or how. That includes:
Mothers who lost a baby to miscarriage, stillbirth, or shortly after birth. Mothers whose adult children passed away. Mothers who experienced infertility and the loss of the children they imagined. Mothers who lost a child years ago — and still carry that loss every single day.
Grief does not follow a timeline. A mother who lost her child twenty years ago can hurt just as much today as she did then. This day does not ask her to explain or justify that. It simply holds space for it.
Why does it matter so much?
Here is something that many bereaved mothers will tell you: one of the hardest parts of losing a child is how alone it can feel.
Society, in general, is not great at sitting with grief. People get uncomfortable. They say things like “at least you have other children” or “you can try again” or, perhaps most painfully, they say nothing at all. They stop mentioning the child’s name because they are afraid it will upset the mother, not realizing that hearing the name is often the greatest gift she can receive.
International Bereaved Mother’s Day pushes back against all of that silence. It creates a cultural permission to talk openly about child loss, to say the child’s name, and to honor a mother’s ongoing love — even when the child is no longer physically here.
For many bereaved mothers, this day is not sad. It is a relief. A rare moment when their experience is front and center, not tucked quietly away.
How is it observed?
There is no single “right” way to observe this day. That is partly what makes it so human.
Some mothers light a candle. Some visit a grave or a memorial. Some share a photo of their child on social media, finally feeling like they have permission to do so without worrying about making others uncomfortable. Some spend the day with other bereaved mothers, finding comfort in shared understanding.
Communities sometimes hold remembrance walks or online vigils. Hospitals and maternity units mark the occasion. Grief counselors and support organizations use this day to reach out to families who may be silently struggling.
Carly Marie Dudley herself often shares artwork on this day — gentle, beautiful, and deeply intentional imagery that speaks to the experience of carrying love and loss at the same time.
What can the rest of us do?
If you know a bereaved mother, this day is a good opportunity to simply reach out. You do not need the perfect words. In fact, there are no perfect words.
What helps is presence. A short message that says, “I’m thinking of you and your child today.” Use the child’s name if you know it. Not trying to fix the grief, but just acknowledging that it is there and that it is valid.
If you are not close to a bereaved mother personally, you can still participate by sharing awareness, supporting grief organizations, or simply learning more about pregnancy loss and child bereavement — topics that remain more taboo than they should be.
Motherhood does not end with loss
Perhaps the most important idea at the heart of this day is a simple but radical one: a mother who has lost a child is still a mother.
That bond — the love, the hopes, the identity — does not disappear when a child does. Bereaved mothers often describe feeling caught between two worlds: the world that expects them to “move on” and the world inside them that never will.
International Bereaved Mother’s Day says: you do not have to choose. You can grieve and love at the same time. You can be broken and still whole. You can carry your child with you, always, in whatever way feels right.
This day is small in the calendar, but enormous in what it offers: the simple, powerful act of being acknowledged. And for a mother carrying an invisible weight, that acknowledgment can mean everything.